something different.

for as long as i can remember.
i have been obsessed with sex.
obsessed.
i remember in elementary school .
when it all began.
of course i was the one.
who in her pretty little dress.
and braids.
was chasing down little white boys.
and shoving her tongue down their throats.
the kissy-wissy girls we called ourselves.
and we were fabulous.
sitting on top of the jungle gym.
so all the boys could see up our skirts.

i was obsessed with sex.
it seemed like my Barbie tea parties.
always ended with a free for all.
fuck feast at the Barbie Mansion.

there are so many memories that i pull back.
that im sure i have shoved away.
so many strange and inappropriate actions.
that i have not idea where they stemmed from.

i recall sitting in the back of the bus in 5th grade.
and letting boys touch my tits under my training bra.
i remember the power that i felt.
the excitement.
i wanted to show them more.
to more people.
i wanted everyone to know .
the secret.
under my sweater.

and i remember my first kiss.
he was my first crush.
and he was a family friend.
our mothers would drink together.
and we would sit in his room.
covered with Batman.
and he would touch my boobs.
and we'd kiss.
and lay on top of each other naked.

the same situation goes
for my first girl kiss.
she was my best friend.
and i wanted her all my life.
i knew there was something there.
we'd have sleepovers.
and i would get those butterflies inside.
and i wanted to touch her skin.
and i wanted to taste her.
and then one day.
we were all of 11.
sitting on her bed.
and she kissed me.
and we kissed.
and touched each other.
and i felt her breast.
and they felt like mine.
and i touched her hair .
and it was nappy like mine.
and her hips were wide.
her lips were thick.
like me.
like mine.
i was touching myself.

and then for awhile.
i was afraid.
scare to death of myself.
and of sex.
and of men the most.

it took me all the way.
until graduation.
to finally.
actually.
pop that cherry.

and it was horrible.
not horrible in the sense of bad sex.
but horrible in the wtf kinda way.
at the time i thought it was great.
but.
in the most typical of typicality.
losing my virginity.
was like a plot.
from a John Hughes film.

graduation party.
ex best friend's.
ex boyfriend.
he was beautiful.
and rich.
and.
white as the day is long.
and i was.
crazy.
and loud.
and black.
and defiantly loving it.
and he wanted it.
he wanted me.
he wanted something different.

they all do.
but me fucking white guys.
is a tale for another time.

i digress...

i remember telling myself.
i was going to fuck him.
and i pushed up my tits.
and i licked my lips.
and wore black lace.
and drank Jameson straight from the bottle.
the party ended up.
on the floor.
in that empty mansion.
everyone laying on top of each other.
children.
waiting for something to happen.
we shared a blanket.
he grabbed my face.
this boy.
this massive beautiful blue eyed devil.
with his strong hands.
grabbed my brown skin.
and almost ripped it off.
he wanted something new.
he wanted it badly.
he kissed me hard .
and i felt he white dick
pressing through his Dockers.
he wanted it.
and i was gonna give it to him.
give him some strange.
he slipped he hand up my skirt.
and i remember the first time.
his hand touched my pussy.
and he breathed out the words "my god"
i was ready.
i was wet with fear and want.
i was soaked with excitement.
and it wasnt about losing my virginity.
i just wanted him.
inside me.
and he was.
and as quick as he was in.
he was out.

and i was there.
underwear at my knees.
cum slowly drying on my stomach.
and that is when i realized.
that as bad as i wanted him.
and despite how amazing the hunt.
and how satisfying the kill.
i just got fucked.
and i was still hungry.

needless to say.
im sure that.
the aforementioned situation.
has led me to be the.
cum thirsty beast i am today.
i then.
was young and naive.
and spent to much time on my back.
when i should have been taking it from behind.
i wanted something different.
something new.
having enough bad sex.
has taught me that its not actually sex.
unless i cum too.

and id never take it back.
like i said.
from as far back i can remember.
i have been obsessed with sex.
i am a women possessed.
i am a women obsessed.