its my prerogative.

i had been stingy.

a prude you might say.
after years of giving it up.
and putting it out.
id made the decision.
to put it away.

i wasn't sucking.
or blowing.
coming.
or going.

i was stale.
we'd lay beside each other.
his dick in arms reach.
but id resist.

tempted to touch.

i remembered those nights.
when the only reason we'd sleep.
is because we couldn't come anymore.

i fantasized.
about those days.
bent over.
in front of open windows.

straddled.
across something domestic.

wet with more than laundry.
but instead.
with pure lust.
and emotion.
and infatuation.

disgusting sex.
that would make any happy home.
a whorehouse.

i had cut that off.

until recently.
that is.

after laying there.
nights of waiting.
dick with in grab.

i made like at&t.
and reach out.
and touched someone.

not only did i touch.
i sucked.
and i fucked.
i shoved.
and pulled.

every place it could go.
every way it could fit.

i forced myself through the bullshit.
and the spite.
to pure pleasure.

i watch his face.
devour me.
and i felt myself.
put it out.

as his face dripped.
with come.
i shook as i took it in.

when i tasted myself.
on his tongue.
i gave it up.

and i left it.
on the sheets.
on his fingers.
in the air.

and it was worth it.
worth the waiting.
and the hesitation.
the restraint.

and after all that questioning.
decision making.
discretion.

its obvious.
no matter how.
much i give it away.

ive still got it.
and its better.
than it was before.