Monday, November 24, 2008

going on month 11

So, i've been single for over a year now. It hasn't been all bad, but i am a person who has done the one night stands, the fuck buddies and after every encounter i just want to scrub myself with bleach. I start to freak out about STDs and get myself tested over and over again for nothing more than a skin irritation. So, obviously, since i dont like the stranger sex, i have been without for a long time.
during my year off of serious dating, i did hang out with someone for about a month. I knew he had a reputation, so i didn't jump in the sack with him. I figured if he really liked me then i had the power to make him wait. The makeouts were so much hotter that way. Slamming me up again porches, sneaking away and throwing me on top of washing machines. making excuses to dip into dark corners. but all the hot sucking face couldn't make up for the fact that when i did let him fuck me, he couldn't. I was ok with it the first time, super bummed the second, and totally over it the third. And when i say he couldn't fuck me, i dont mean that he was bad at it, i mean he could not fuck me. his shit didn't work. I guess the long ass wait put pressure on him (or so he says, and b/c i am still friends with this person, i'll believe that excuse superficially). so i cut and run on that one.
after that, which was in feb/march, there has been no one. I can't even tell you the last time i kissed someone. I think in may?! it's kinda pathetic. I went from being single and drunk, to single and so horny, to single and sad and now single and completely apathetic to it all.
I'm over it, i dont want to make the effort, i dont want to hear your pick up lines, excuses, attempts to hang out with me.
you all might wonder why i have been single and without some good deep dicking..
let me explain the men that have come around.
1. 22 and completely immature. when we did make out MONTHS ago, and it was just kissing and rubbing, he didn't talk to me for a month. wow. you are ashamed of ME?!
2. old friend. told him i wouldn't fuck him cause it would ruin things and it makes it hotter by keeping the fantasy alive. he got mad and left me in the bathroom at a party.
3. dude who tried to fuck my best friend and then went after me. when i said no, he went for my other best friend.
4. gay. when i mean gay i mean he said "you have split ends" to me! go fuck yourself.
5. men with short fuses. you know, the ones that get jealous even though you aren't dating. the ones aways trying to fight for you even though you hate fighting and can protect yourself. they are making up for some dick complex.
6. my employees. that all fun and all. But i dont want to look at them all day every day afterwards. esp if im not into them.

so. you tell me where the good men are. Bank account, job, friends, no rage problems, no penis problems and all that other usual shit women want in a man.
until then, i'll have my cuddle buddy to sleeps next to me but we never do anything but snuggle.

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